unbr8kable | IC Inbox

It's kind of a big deal for me though...? I don't... want you to be afraid to touch me. And I don't want to be afraid to touch you. So I'm gonna worry about it.

Just-- please touch me when you want to? Please. Anytime, anywhere.

I'm not--afraid of you. But--okay. I get it.

Didn't say that... just, if you're so nervous about hearing "no" that you'd avoid it entirely...

[ trails off a bit, sagging uselessly down into the seat a little more and burying her nose in her coat. ]

... I dunno what to do. I missed you bunches and I've been missing you and all I wanna do is like-- hold you and hug you and feel you again but I know I--

...

I'm sorry.

You--you're good, seriously. It ain't your fault I'm-- It ain't your fault.

[looks over at her, and then back into her own lap, shoulders sagging]

...I missed you, too. But I thought-- I just--didn't want to get in the way, or mess stuff up again.

[ ... shifts a little closer, so she can bury her face in against Nem's shoulder, muffled and mumbly. ]

You don't get in the way. What's there even for you to get in the way of? And it's-- it's fine to mess stuff up. It's fine. We'll just talk about whatever got messed up and not assume stupid things anymore or be mean to each other or not-- be there for each other.

... there's nothing wrong with you. I love you. And-- and you don't have to love me, ever, but as long as you care, I'm-- happy. And as long as you care, I'll be here.

[takes in a long breath; lets it out, a shaky little almost-laugh into Req's hair.]

...Okay.

[she keeps her head angled so her face is obscured, but her fingers hook into Req's shirt, to keep her close]

[ oops wrong account

... okay.

doesn't move, just hunching her shoulders a little for more contact-- but doesn't say anything else beyond that, face miserably warm despite the fire and thankfully hidden. ]

[cool

eventually curls in closer, adjusting to a somewhat more natural hold]

...Sorry.

[ shakes her head a little, gratefully leaning into that hold.

Her breath is just a little shaky. ]

S'fine.

If this's "fine," hate to see "bad"...

[ huffs. ]

... been there, done that, let's aim for "good".

[quiet]

...Sorry.

[ ...

curls an arm around her, pulling her close. ]

Stop apologizing... you didn't do anything wrong!

[Hunches in on herself, automatic]

Didn't do anything right, either.

[Then--tone noticeably lighter]

Anyways--doesn't matter, don't worry about it. I am glad you're back, even if you had to come back straight into something like that.

[ ggggod. immediately pulls back when she hunches up, putting a bit of distance between them. ]

It matters. Who-- cares, about right and wrong? Only thing that matters is stuff that makes us happy or unhappy, and you make me happy. I don't care if you don't do stuff "right". I don't do stuff right all the time, look-- I messed it up and hugged you again and I shouldn't've, I shoulda known better, and I'm sorry.

--What? No--no, that's not-- You're fine. I wanted you to...if you wanted... I just didn't want you to yell.

[She finishes lamely, shrunken in farther on herself, hands knotted into her slacks]

[ quiet at that, and settles back, her expression confused and worried. ]

... do I yell at you a lot?

No? It's just-- I'm not saying I don't deserve 'em, but...maybe you can hold off on the lectures until tomorrow?

[ ah.

... nods, shoulders slumping a little. But she looks kind of relieved. ]

Okay. ... I'm sorry.

It's--fine. Sorry for not having it together. It's been--

[Shakes her head; makes herself sit up straighter]

...I'll work it out.

Edited 2020-03-04 00:45 (UTC)

... can I-- help you? Sort it out? I wanna help.

Are you okay? Do you wanna talk about what's been happening?

[shrugs, kind of hopelessly]

...Just been thinking a lot. Prolly too much. ...Don't worry about it. Easy to know what to do when I put it like that, right?

... nah.

What were you thinking about...?

Stupid stuff. ...Dreams. Haven't been sleeping good, either.

Does... anything help you? Sleep better.

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