[Leans in, (self-conscious, but) glad for the contact. (Nervous, but) thankful for the feeling, the affection, the attention in general. (Uncertain of Req's words, but) she trusts that Requiem isn't lying. So she keeps quiet for most of it, (embarrassed and feeling small and it's so stupid, but) gratefully seeking comfort in Req's arms]
[ that feeling sparks warmer, less tight in her chest, relieved as nem leans in. there's something nervous in it, too, but she just seems happy to have gotten out of that little spat with nothing more than a bit of hurt feelings, so she hugs her close, trying to chase away those negative feelings with her affection and the certainty that nem is GOOD and she loves her despite what she might think. ]
No-- I'm sorry, I didn't...
[ awkward, for a moment ]
... didn't realize you-- felt so strongly, about... yourself. Like that. Um. Guess I got scared. Thought maybe some of it was my fault. M'sure some is, but... m'gonna try to make those parts better.
[tries not to go too stiff and awkward herself, since there's very little point in trying to hide anything when they're like this, a fact that's both freeing and terrifying]
I mean--you weren't supposed to. I was supposed to figure something out and you wouldn't ever have to know.
[regret and embarrassment--for being found out--for failing--for needing help in the first place. if only she'd been good enough....the story of her life. she certainly doesn't feel good much less lovable, but... the emotions from Req wash over her, and they are hard feelings to fake.
and selfishly, gratefully, undeserving or not, she takes them in--wraps them around her, warm and safe, same as Requiem's embrace. slowly, she snakes her arms and her own feelings around to hug back--thanks, appreciation, apology; a private, shy fondness, carefully offered]
[ that offering's accepted readily, excitably, tangling her own feelings in it like lacing warm fingers together and holding tight. taking those feelings of "not good enough" and failure and commiserating, sure, when is req ever good enough either, but swaddling them in such dense affection that even if this is the case it doesn't matter, because it's all part of the bigger set of things that make her like Nem to begin with.
that deep fondness, the softly achey love pulses like a heartbeat from her core, stronger when nemesis hugs her back and intensifying briefly when req squeezes and nuzzles in against her hair, smiling against her. it's entirely selfish, sure-- but nem's positive emotions, even nervous or shy as they are, make her feel that much happier. ]
That's the sort of thing we can do together, though. If you wanna, I mean.
neither the thought of teamworking things out, nor the idea that not-good-enough could be...enough. so--maybe it's okay, not getting it all good on even the third try--at least that's how it feels when shored up by all Req's reassurance and support. honestly she looks a little dazed, dizzy with the emotion. she hugs tighter, burying her face hot in Req's chest so she doesn't have to see what must be an embarrassingly soft expression.
it's somehow less embarrassing to have the soft feeling, a warm, gentle glow deep in her chest. Req's love and joy wraps around the feeling, protecting it, stoking the flame. and it flickers brighter in return, fed by that heartbeat and the smile against her hair]
[ that love bubbles up a little deeper at that feeling, rising up in her chest, and she can't resist giving nem a tight squeeze and nuzzling her face in against her hair for a moment. the expression is DEFINITELY embarrassingly soft, sorry. but so are the feelings so really there's no escape. ]
[It's okay from her--most things are okay from her. Embarrassed or no, Nemesis is even less interested in escaping than she usually is, and allows herself to be bundled in the soft acceptance. She reflects it back best she can, a hesitant, gentle contentment from within, surrounding them both as warm and soothing as bathwater]
[ and that's an honest belief too-- she's already grown so much even just
as long as Req has known her, and she loves that too.
But she grows content with the feeling, that warm love happy to settle in
alongside Nem's quieter emotion and curl protectively around it, even as
Req loosens her own grip on her. ]
But whatever it is you wanna change, I'm gonna try to help.
[Stays leaning there for a while longer, holding tight, breathing Req's scent, taking in the still novel idea that maybe she actually can do something]
Ah,
[and she tugs Requiem down--goes up on tiptoes to give her a kiss, pushing through gratitude and appreciation and thanks, pure and honest where her words always feel flat and awkward: please, and thank you]
[That is immediately echoed, lucky and pleased and slowly more confident, a warm tingle growing in her chest and spreading throughout her body, a pulse of 'okay, awesome']
there's that little sparking thread of arousal again, arm and brief, even if the tingling in her ears and fingers and lips is more from their shared feelings and nem's confidence and pleasure than anything else, so she pulls back after a moment to kiss her forehead. ]
[Spoilers, there is 99 percent of the time arousal tinder around to catch even the smallest sparks, and this is no different. She flushes at the kiss and the feelings and the proximity, self-conscious and pleased and soft and fluttery inside]
Marceliiine.
[Imitating her tone, gently teasing and shyly delighted to do so]
...Maybe we should get a hideout, since we seem to keep having talks on the street.
that arousal definitely burns just a bit brighter, tempered by her feelings of genuine joy and amusement when she's mimicked, separating from her just slightly but taking her hand, threading their fingers together. ]
S'not my fault the city has so much street in it.
[ and she considers the idea of a hideout, briefly; the immediate jump in arousal and the desire to tease, the warmth, the plain excitement of the idea of building something together with Nem-- but quickly threading through with... guilt, or something close to it, softening those feelings. something maybe a little anxious, but it ultimately all gets pushed away-- no sense in worrying about it when nothing ever happens, after all. ]
[ very abruptly there's a sharp, striking pang of fear, only reflected in Req's body as a sudden slimming of her wings, the feathers going flat, and her skin suddenly looking a bit greyer than usual.
and she desperately tries to force it down and away, smothering it with a slightly uneasy humor. ]
Maybe not a tunnel. I think a room's pretty good, right?
[ curls a wing around her, comforted by her warmth and the talking-- even if it's talking about this, the fear is low-lying and more of a discomfort than the shock of terror it was before, with nem to concentrate on.
she seems a bit embarrassed though, awkward, and shrugs as she looks away. ]
... never really stopped dreaming about it. Doesn't come up much, though, so-- it's fine.
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...It's fine, you're fine. Sorry for all this.
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No-- I'm sorry, I didn't...
[ awkward, for a moment ]
... didn't realize you-- felt so strongly, about... yourself. Like that. Um. Guess I got scared. Thought maybe some of it was my fault. M'sure some is, but... m'gonna try to make those parts better.
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I mean--you weren't supposed to. I was supposed to figure something out and you wouldn't ever have to know.
[regret and embarrassment--for being found out--for failing--for needing help in the first place. if only she'd been good enough....the story of her life. she certainly doesn't feel good much less lovable, but... the emotions from Req wash over her, and they are hard feelings to fake.
and selfishly, gratefully, undeserving or not, she takes them in--wraps them around her, warm and safe, same as Requiem's embrace. slowly, she snakes her arms and her own feelings around to hug back--thanks, appreciation, apology; a private, shy fondness, carefully offered]
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that deep fondness, the softly achey love pulses like a heartbeat from her core, stronger when nemesis hugs her back and intensifying briefly when req squeezes and nuzzles in against her hair, smiling against her. it's entirely selfish, sure-- but nem's positive emotions, even nervous or shy as they are, make her feel that much happier. ]
That's the sort of thing we can do together, though. If you wanna, I mean.
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[she hadn't thought about it like that.
neither the thought of teamworking things out, nor the idea that not-good-enough could be...enough. so--maybe it's okay, not getting it all good on even the third try--at least that's how it feels when shored up by all Req's reassurance and support. honestly she looks a little dazed, dizzy with the emotion. she hugs tighter, burying her face hot in Req's chest so she doesn't have to see what must be an embarrassingly soft expression.
it's somehow less embarrassing to have the soft feeling, a warm, gentle glow deep in her chest. Req's love and joy wraps around the feeling, protecting it, stoking the flame. and it flickers brighter in return, fed by that heartbeat and the smile against her hair]
O-okay. If you wanna.
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Yeah. Yeah, I wanna.
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Okay. 'Cause I wanna be--better.
[Quiet, and honest, and a little shy]
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Personally... I dunno that you need it.
[ and that's an honest belief too-- she's already grown so much even just as long as Req has known her, and she loves that too.
But she grows content with the feeling, that warm love happy to settle in alongside Nem's quieter emotion and curl protectively around it, even as Req loosens her own grip on her. ]
But whatever it is you wanna change, I'm gonna try to help.
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Ah,
[and she tugs Requiem down--goes up on tiptoes to give her a kiss, pushing through gratitude and appreciation and thanks, pure and honest where her words always feel flat and awkward: please, and thank you]
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there's that little sparking thread of arousal again, arm and brief, even if the tingling in her ears and fingers and lips is more from their shared feelings and nem's confidence and pleasure than anything else, so she pulls back after a moment to kiss her forehead. ]
Kittyyyy.
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Marceliiine.
[Imitating her tone, gently teasing and shyly delighted to do so]
...Maybe we should get a hideout, since we seem to keep having talks on the street.
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that arousal definitely burns just a bit brighter, tempered by her feelings of genuine joy and amusement when she's mimicked, separating from her just slightly but taking her hand, threading their fingers together. ]
S'not my fault the city has so much street in it.
[ and she considers the idea of a hideout, briefly; the immediate jump in arousal and the desire to tease, the warmth, the plain excitement of the idea of building something together with Nem-- but quickly threading through with... guilt, or something close to it, softening those feelings. something maybe a little anxious, but it ultimately all gets pushed away-- no sense in worrying about it when nothing ever happens, after all. ]
... if you really wanna, I'd love to.
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I mean. If you'd rather something else... Could luxe it up with a car or boat or something. Or some fancy addition to the dorm could work, too.
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Nah. A weird batcave is perfect for me, I think.
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Not sure there's any caves under the city--that we can access, anyways. Unless you're talking about taking over the ski lodge.
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...Could look for a comfy subway tunnel. Then there's a ceiling to hang from, too.
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and she desperately tries to force it down and away, smothering it with a slightly uneasy humor. ]
Maybe not a tunnel. I think a room's pretty good, right?
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[guilt wells up like a leaf-filled gutter, and she sends out feelings of apology and (slightly panicky) reassurance]
So--yeah, wherever you want. So long's it ain't in full view of everybody, I ain't too picky...
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Maybe somewhere high up, then...
[ a pause. then, a little awkwardly. ]
... sorry. Know you were just trying to joke.
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[pauses, nudging back against her, sorry]
...Didn't know it was that bad, though.
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she seems a bit embarrassed though, awkward, and shrugs as she looks away. ]
... never really stopped dreaming about it. Doesn't come up much, though, so-- it's fine.
[ she seems to believe so, anyway. ]
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[hunches up a little, awkward even while trying very hard not to seem like it]
Sorry...for then.
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